Sorry for not posting a blog last week. I couldn’t find the time to do it and spent hours looking everywhere for it. It seems that I’m obsessed with time. My father used to tell me that if I was five minutes early, I was 10 minutes late. I’m an Olympic-class clock watcher. While time seems to be rushing by in my old age, when I was in high school algebra, the clock on the wall moved so slowly that I thought I would never be able to escape that torture chamber. So much time has passed since then I can’t get a grasp on it and slow it down. Is my time running out? It could be because, Father Time is undefeated.
When I was young, I got all my advice on handling time from the Rock Gods I used to listen to. The Rolling Stones told me, “Time is on my side,” while the Guess Who said, “I got, got, got no time.” If I was smart, I would have taken Jim Croce’s advice and kept “Time in a bottle.” My hometown rock group, Chicago, was as confused as I was when they asked, “Does anyone really know what time it is,” but they answered their question when they said, “25 or 6 to 4.” The Zombies informed me that it was the “Time of the season,” but maybe I should listen to the famous Noble Laureate in Literature, Bob Dylan when he said, “The times they are a changing.” Wait, did you think I was talking about the famous Theoretical Physicist/Cosmologist Stephen Hawking, who wrote the book “A Brief History of Time?” Naw, he never won a Nobel Prize. His time ran out.
Time is a man-made thing. It was invented by the big wristwatch manufacturers to drive sales. Look at how many phrases have been created to make us stress about time. How about “Time is money.” I’m waiting for that one to pay off. “Watch your six” refers to the number 6 on a clock face, which means somebody may be sneaking up behind you. “Don’t waste time.” Ok, is it like I have a bucket of time and keep spilling some of it? Now that I am old, my sons keep telling me, “I’m behind the times.” I guess that means “Time has passed me by.” When I’m successful at something, someone will yell, “It’s about time.” How many times have you been asked, “Do you have some time on your hands?” Yeah, I do. “Big Watch” convinced me I needed this expensive timepiece on my wrist, which now controls my life.
Most of our lives are dictated by time. We have to be awake by a certain time and be somewhere on time; there is no time for our families because we are so tied up in our jobs, and we always get home late because we lose track of time. Are you getting my message yet? We need to break loose from the stranglehold time has on existence.
I decided to consult an expert on ignoring time and just living my life, so I talked to a teenage boy. What better source to learn how to ignore time? When was the last time you heard of a teenage boy actually getting out of bed when his alarm clock goes off? I have one son in his late 30s who still has difficulty being awakened by any means. Teenage boys tend to be late for everything, and when they do get involved in an activity (video games, for example), they lose track of time and could be at it for days unless there is an adult intervention. How many dinners have teenage boys been late for because they are helping a buddy try to get their wreck of a car back on the road? I look back and long for those days, but I became responsible, and there seems to be no cure for that affliction.
Since I don’t want to take up a lot of your time, I will close this cliche fest, but I have one more thing to say. It’s nap time, and it’s not going to take itself. See you next time.
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