Ok, for all you loonies on the left and wing nuts on the right, I’m going to express my opinion in this article. I’m sure you will all rush to social media to blast me in some way but hey, it’s attention. Someone once said “There is no such thing as bad publicity.” I also want to assure famous opinion columnists George Will of the Washington Post and Maureen Dowd of the New York Times not to worry. Even though this may be Pulitzer worthy, it is not something I plan to do on a regular basis You actually have to have some knowledge of what you are opining about and that’s way too much work for me.
Here we go. I think everyone should be wearing face masks. Mostly to protect me from getting this terrible virus. Some say I should always wear a face mask because without it I tend to scare small children and animals. I know wearing a mask has become a hot political issue. Why? Trying to protect yourself from disease should not be a political football and anyone who says otherwise is not nearly as smart as I am.
The reason I’m smarter than everyone else is because I believe the scientists. Why should we trust the scientists? That’s an easy one. Remember when you were in high school trying to be the best dressed, with the coolest friends and drive the hottest car? Sure you do. You were trying to impress someone of the opposite sex. Wasn’t that what we were suppose to do in high school? While most of us were concerned with our social status, those gals and guys who were spending all their time studying, doing their homework, getting great grades and going to good colleges are the people who became the scientist and doctors of today. I am pretty sure they are more knowledgeable about things like infectious disease than those students who were social climbers, glad handers, who got a law degree and ran for public office.
The one thing I have learned from the scientist and doctors is that if everyone wears a mask, it will really curtail the spread of this horrible virus. In today’s world, it seems there is a battle between those who believe in science and those who don’t. While they’re arguing, the warnings we are getting are being drowned out. It’s time to listen to the smart kids in class, put our masks on and shut up.
What do I think about wearing masks? I hate it but I hate dying from some terrible respiratory disease even more. I have been struggling, like most people, to find a mask that I am comfortable wearing. I have used an N95 which seemed fine but didn’t look cool enough. I have also bought masks at the grocery store, Costco, Stables and through Amazon. There are bandannas, scarfs and gators (no, not the reptile) that also are being used as masks. Being a guy who wears eye glasses, the hardest part is not fogging up said glasses. One day I’m going to be blinded by foggy glasses and walk into a light post or out into traffic and there will be no need for the virus to kill me. The best mask I have found was made by a friend of ours. I can breathe and see, both vital senses for surviving in this cruel world.
Unfortunately, most people I see walking around choose not to wear masks. Maybe they know of a cure for this virus that I wasn’t told about. Kind of like all those cool kids in high school who would laugh when I tried to hang out with them. I know it’s hard to believe, I wasn’t the coolest guy in high school. Bitter much?
Like high school, there’s a lot of peer pressure and shaming going on. I have seen some politicians and have friends who tend to mock people for wearing masks. Last time I gave into to that, I started smoking as a teenager. Not making a stupid, deadly mistake again.
So, in conclusion, we have established that the people of this country will take sides on almost anything. Scientists know what they are talking about. I am smarter than you are because I choose to listen to scientists. All those opinion columnists jobs are save and I was unpopular in high school. Now, put your freaking mask on.
©2020 BBRiley
bbriley.net 