I just played in my first softball game in over a year…ouch… and I’m hurting today. My whole body hurt so bad, the only way I could communicate with my wife while laying in my lounge chair was by blinking Morse Code with my eyelids. They say Father Time defeats all athletes. He’s kicking my butt.
I pride myself on trying to stay in shape. Note the word “trying.” I have been involved in some kind of athletic activity for as long as I can remember. From Little League to the senior softball league I now belong to, I have been physically active most of my life. What I don’t understand is, even though I am of an advanced age, I believe that I am in pretty good shape but still feel like I got hit by a train after this first game back. I keep checking for an engine number embossed in my chest, just in case.
Due to the pandemic, I had to make a change to my daily workout routine. I used to belong to a gym until they closed down in March of 2020. I decided to end my membership when I kept getting billed even though I couldn’t attend. I guess they thought I would stay fit in mind if I had to keep writing a check to them each month. Nowadays I do a workout at home and it is pretty intense. It involves a very heavy toolbox, a step ladder, a cinder block, my bicycle and an ottoman. I honestly believe I am getting a more consistent workout now than when I was a gym member and I’m not fighting someone else for the use of the ottoman…well, maybe the cat once in a while.
I try to participate in sports as much as I can. As I said, I played little league baseball. I also have played basketball, football, golf, softball, bowling, cycling, hockey (yes, hockey and I have the dents in my shins to prove it) and soccer. I confess the only soccer I played was a required phys ed class in college and it was the only class available. I also smoked at the time. Imagine seeing a guy come off the pitch and light up a heater (cigarette). It happened. I was also a runner for years. I would go out every night for a run. I also participated in quite a few 5k and 10k runs. I’m sure you figured out that I quit smoking by then.
Why am I doing all this stuff? Simple, I’m going to try and stay in shape, even if it kills me. Wait, that doesn’t sound right.
What has been the result of all this “healthy” activity? I have had broken bones (including vertebrae), a collapsed lung, torn ligaments, arthritis in almost all my joints, wearing orthotics inserts for plantar fasciitis, torn meniscus, knee replacement and a 5 day stay in the intensive care unit in a hospital (A bicycle accident I have no memory of. A good thing…the loss of memory that is.). I almost achieved my goal to die healthy.
Why would I do this torture to myself over the years? I love my comfort foods and I have been battling my weight for years. I’m convinced if I didn’t work out, I would be one of those guys they would have to remove from his house by knocking down a wall and using a crane.
I’m also a touch competitive. I see a competition in everything. Years ago, I hooked up with a bunch of other guys who were the same way and we formed a softball team that competed together for an unheard of 20 years. When we got too old to compete in softball, we moved our competitive juices to the golf course. Money does change hands after a round and the desire to get revenge the next week keeps us all coming back.
I have to admit, I do have another reason for trying to stay in shape, considering how old I am. My boys think I need one of those Life Alert things in case I fall and can’t get up. I work on upper body and core strength everyday so I can pull myself up in case I do fall. Think about it. If I depended on one of those fobs and slide into second base during one of my games, would I have to wait for the paramedics to come get me up so I could continue running the bases? Considering how some of my teammates run, it might not be a bad idea.
You are probably wondering if I intend to take it easy as I grow older. Not a chance. That is what ibuprofen and health insurance is made for. Thank goodness for Medicare.
I need some help here. Does anyone know how to say “Honey, bring me a beer and a couple of more Advil,” in Morse Code?
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