Just the other night my wife and I rented a caper movie called “The Vault.” I really enjoy a good caper movie and, even though this one did not get much distribution, it wasn’t that bad. The story is about a treasurer hunter who finds an old sunken Spanish Treasure, only to have it taken away by the Spanish government leading to a plan to steal the treasure back. The treasure is stored in the most secure vault in the world (aren’t they all) and the treasure hunter needs to get some really talented people to pull off his caper.
You are probably wondering what a caper movie is. It is where someone comes up with an ingenious plan to steal something from one of the most secure places on earth, assembles a crew of hardened but skilled criminals and then executes their plan. Imagine if we put this much effort in solving climate change.
There are certain rules in making a caper movie. One, the watcher has to root for the bad guys. Technically, the people trying to pull off the heist of the century are the bad guys. To offset this, the people they’re trying to steal from are far worse and you’re happy to cheer for the thieves’ success. Kind of like rooting for your political party to defeat the opposing political party. Now does it make sense?
The crew trying to execute the big score must have a certain makeup. The leader is a mastermind, cocky and their talent is recruiting expert criminals to execute his ingenious plan. There is always a world class computer hacker who can crack any system in the world. They always stay back in a secret room or a truck filled with state-of-the-art computer equipment guiding his team to their target. The hacker is also socially challenged and will never get the girl. The next person on the list is the expert thief/safe cracker who is so good at what they do, they just got released from prison and are being tracked by the police. Wait…what? I guess it helps build suspense for the story line. There’s the guy who can do it all, is usually very good looking and the lady’s man, which will always lead to trouble. The group has to have muscle. This is the member who is big, strong and does all the heavy lifting. Usually an ex-con, with a heart of gold. The final crew member is the outsider. They’re brought in for their very specific expertise, like engineering, global economics, architecture, etc. He’s never been a criminal and nobody else in the crew trusts them. One of the crew must be a beautiful woman. Why? Really, why do you think so?
During the crew’s heist they have to have certain things happen. First, solving the big problem. They always have to figure out how to get into the most secure place on earth, or so they claim, and retrieve the desired item and escape without being caught or killed. No problem. This is why the outside expert was brought in. This person spends hours and days reviewing the impossible task but only discovers a solution when they happen to see another one of the crew do something simple like pour a cup of coffee, tie a shoe, or fall down a flight of stairs. Just saying.
The next requirement is to do a dry run and chase their target. In all cases, everything that could go wrong, does. It becomes quite the nail bitter and we, the audience, wonder if the guys we are cheering for will even survive their practice run. They always do, but barely. My question is, if it could go that bad, why not just abandon their plans and get on with their lives, but where is the excitement in that?
During their caper, someone has to crawl through a ventilation duct. Really, who has ever seen a duct system large enough for a grown man to crawl through. In the case of Tom Cruise it seems more plausible due to his demure size…sorry Tom, just speaking the truth. In many cases there is a giant fan the criminals encounter and must get by. Again, who has ever seen a fan in a duct system that looks like the propeller from the Spruce Goose (Big Howard Hughes plane. Look it up.)
The crew is always behind schedule, in danger and facing death because something went very wrong…and they are being double crossed by one of their members. By this time the viewers are demanding that the so-called mastermind who came up with this dim-witted idea…and hired the traitor…be fired.
This is where we find out the boss is a lot smarter than we are. It turns out he has anticipated everything and has built an alternate solution, including knowing which member is the Judas and neutralizing them.
The movie ends with our favorite criminals enjoying the high life in some tropical place, drinking champagne while their target is screaming in frustration or even getting arrested because he’s really the bad guy. I really do like movies where I know, no matter how harrowing it seems to get, there will be a satisfying end.
Some great caper movies include The Italian Job, twice. First in 1969 starring Michael Caine and again in 2003 starring Mark Wahlberg. If you mention class act British actor Michael Caine, the next actor that comes to mind is former underwear model, Mark Wahlberg…no, not really.
Other famous caper stories include A Fish Called Wanda, National Treasure, Ocean’s Eleven (the original Rat Pack version and the more recent George Clooney effort), all the Mission Impossible movies, The Hunt for Red October (They steal a giant, Soviet nuclear submarine without the Russians knowing it…. now’s that a caper), Gone in 60 seconds and the king of them all, The Sting. Kevin Kline, George Clooney, Robert Redford, Paul Newman, Alec Baldwin and Sean Connery are a few of the stars from these flicks. Did I mention all the leading men must be devastatingly good looking? My wife just mentioned that Nicolas Cage starred in two of the movies mentioned. I stand corrected.
Have to go. The heating and air guys are here. There seems to be a blockage in our system and I want to make sure Tom Cruise isn’t stuck in there.
©2021 BBRiley.net
bbriley.net 