What I Did On My Summer Vacation, 2022

Summer break is over. Just got back from Walmart for the big “going back to writing” sales. Got myself some new pencils, erasers (vital in my work), a new bottle of white-out (and if anyone can give me some tips on how to get white-out off my computer screen, that would be helpful), a new set of writing duds, brand new thesaurus and my Dave Barry collector lunch box. I’ve relished my time off to enjoy the summer months but it is time to get back to documenting this crazy world from my perspective.

My wife and I decided to take an extended trip back east and visit my old stomping grounds in the midwest. While I was looking forward to seeing relatives, doing a little fishing, and eat my way through the city of Chicago, my wife was a bit more specific in what she wanted to see, she was hoping to see a couple of thunderstorms. She was not disappointed. Growing up in an area where thunderstorms were a regular occurrence, I had learned the proper etiquette for surviving a thunderstorm. As soon as the lightning started, followed by a downpour, my dear wife headed for the cover of a tree to enjoy the storm. I immediately went into a panic and dragged her out from under the tree and to the covered entrance at a store nearby, while yelling “you never stand under a tree during a thunderstorm.” 

I grew up with stories of people killed when lightning struck the tree they were standing near. In fact I was just across the street at the time when professional golfer, Lee Trevino and several other golfers, were struck by lightning while taking refuge under a tree while playing in the 1975 Western Open. My office was right across the street and I remember that big storm rumbling through the area. Trevino was injured and a couple of the other golfers’ careers were ended as a result of the lighting strike. When Trevino was asked later what he would do if he were caught in another storm like that while golfing he said, “I’ll just stick my one iron in the air because, God can’t even hit a one iron.”

After rescuing my wife from certain death, she pointed up and asked, if the 50 story and taller buildings protect us from a lightning strike? We were in downtown Chicago at the time. She was probably right and I’m pretty sure most of those buildings have lightning rods on the top of them. My reaction was a Pavlov like reaction to the sound of thunder and the flash of lightning. All I could see was a pile of cinders where I once stood. Well, I did decide to be cremated at death and this could save my kids the cost.

The reason we were in Chicago was to take a couple of friends from SoCal on a tour of the “Hog Butcher” of the world. Well, they haven’t butchered hogs there for years but it makes the city sound tough. I like the nickname given to the city by the poet Carl Sandburg, the city of “Big Shoulders.” Considering the many tall buildings that define the landscape of the city, that name makes more sense. Maybe Sandburg gave them that name because of the Chicago Bears. Just speculation on my part (I would have).

The main reason our friends wanted to visit the city was to see the diverse architecture that the city offers. We took them on a river tour that featured beautiful, unusual, and an abundance of wonderful building designs that Chicago plays home to. The reason Chicago became the center of architecture was due to the famous fire that engulfed the city in 1871. The city could have given up and become a footnote in history but the people decided to rebuild and they created one of the greatest international cities.

We started our trip of Chicago by having dinner on the 95th floor of the John Hancock building the night we arrived. There is no better place to get an overview of a city of architecture than from over a thousand feet up. We were lucky to come just before the sun set and finished our dinner to the night lights of the city. I was also straining my eyes to see how the White Sox were doing in the distance at their home stadium. Unfortunately, I couldn’t make out the score since the scoreboard was facing away from us. Darn!

The next day we walked the famous “Loop,” the downtown business center of the city defined by the El tracks that surround the area. We used this day to check out some of the original skyscrapers that pierced the sky in the Windy City by being 10, 12, or 14 stories tall. Small by today’s standards but at the time people were amazed at such tall buildings. This also established the steel frame buildings that would result in the 110 story Willis (formerly Sears) Tower, just a couple of blocks away. Another great sight seeing feature of the loop is the amazing art that accents the area. Included are a 50 foot sculpture by Pablo Picasso, a huge flamingo by Alexander Calder and a giant 4 sided mosaic by Marc Chagall. All amazing pieces of public art that are now copied by other cities throughout the world.

Once we finished getting a little culture, it was time to fullfill their next requests. A real Chicago hot dog, a real stuffed Chicago pizza and a visit to Wrigley field. Yes, we were going to eat our way through the Windy City. My go to hot dog location, Al’s, was torn down since my last visit so I had to scramble to find another, but when we did it was a gold mine. Maybe one of the best Chicago dogs I have had in awhile. 

Our pizza was scheduled for our return trip from Wrigley Field. The Cubs were out of town during our visit, so I purchased tickets for a tour of the historic stadium. I had an ulterior motive for our visit. My sons purchased a brick with my name on it that was going to be placed on the sidewalk just outside the stadium. While the Green Bay Packers sell worthless stock certificates to raise money, at least my brick is an important part of Wrigley Field’s infrastructure and it carries more weight than the Packer’s piece of paper. Get it, my brick carries more weight than a piece of paper…well, I thought it was clever.

Our tour was great and I was able to help the tour guide by providing information on the Friendly Confines which he had passed over. Maybe that’s why he asked me to wait by my brick until the tour was over.

Another exciting part of our day was a ride on the subway/EL train to and from the park. While it’s commonplace for people of the big city, it’s like a Disneyland ride for those who have never experienced it.

On our way back to the hotel we stopped and enjoyed the best deep dish pizza Chicago has to offer. We stopped by Pizzeria Due for dinner and were not disappointed. We were warned that it would take 45 minutes to prepare our pizza but we were happy to wait and filled the time with a few cocktails. We weren’t driving, why not enjoy ourselves. Instead of showing off my whistling ability and throwing my arm up to hail a cab, we decided to walk the mile and a half back to our hotel. It was a beautiful evening and it gave us time to see some more of the amazing sights offered by the city.

The one thing I didn’t anticipate for our trip was that the city was hosting its annual Lollapalooza music festival in Grant Park. The park is located right across the street from our hotel. A mere 400,000 young people were there to enjoy multiple stages and a variety of music genres. Though a very loud and crowded event, it was peaceful and all the participants were well behaved. How they dressed was another story. My dad would never have let me go out in one of those outfits. Lollapalooza added some fun and excitement to our stay.

We made it back to California but a little late. Apparently the pilot of our flight overslept and came stumbling into the airplane an hour late. I volunteered saying I could surely handle the flying duties but the flight attendant said I was no Ted Striker and don’t call him Shirley. (If you know what that means, let me know.)

Note: If you want to read an excellent book that includes talk about Chicago architecture, check out Devil In The White City by Eric Larson. It is a historical novel that documents the building of the 1893 Columbian Exposition by Chicago Architect Daniel Burnham and also talks about H. H. Holmes, a serial killer, who used the activity of the fair to harvest victims to his “Murder Hotel,” just blocks west of the exposition. A great read.

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