I think I need to take a break from the deeply serious subjects that I have been writing about, to concentrate on even more serious subjects, sports. I’m a sports guy. I’m one of those frustrated athletes who couldn’t perform at a high enough level at any sport to go pro, so I have spent my life trying to compensate by participating in amateur athletics. I have been playing softball in some kind of league since I was in the Army in my early 20s. While incarcerated…oops…I meant serving, I was on two different softball teams. One was a slow pitch league and the other fastpitch. I worked in a hospital while on active duty and played on our flag football team. I’ve played golf regularly since I was a caddy in my early teens. I have also played in several organized basketball leagues and I have a metal knee to prove it.
On top of that,I have evolved into a professional sports writer. Imagine me writing articles while in a press box overlooking an empty field, chomping on a giant cigar, a half empty bottle of rot-gut whiskey by my side, while wearing a fedora with a tag that says “press” stuck into the ribbon, or at least that’s how I picture it. Just call me Biff Riley, sports writer. Even though I’m not a daily sports writer, it has afforded me the opportunity to interview pros from a variety of sports, visit some cool sporting venues, and I was able to chow down on the spread laid out for sports writers at the Staples Center one evening before I interviewed Diana Taurasi of the Phoenix Mercury. Do you know what it feels like to be surrounded by a group of women at least a half a foot taller than me? I was intimidated.
All this rambling is to establish my credentials to spout opinions on a few current sports headlines. Just a warning, if you do not agree with me, I do know how to attain a restraining order. Keep that in mind.
I’m a Chicago guy and a fan of all ChiTown sports. At the time of this writing, the 2023 baseball season is just days away, the Bears are in the headlines with their offseason moves, the Bulls are still struggling to make the playoffs and the Blackhawks have fallen off the edge of the sports world and have descended into the abyss.
The Bears ended last season as the worst team in the NFL, and I couldn’t be happier. I gave up on their chance of reaching the playoffs after the first preseason game last August. By being the worst, the team earned the number one pick in the upcoming NFL draft. I would like to send my thanks to former Bears head coach, Lovie Smith. The Texans informed him before their last game that he was being fired. Lovie pulled out all stops and guided a truly bad team to one last victory that moved them out of the basement and handed the first pick to the Bears. I knew Lovie was still a Bears guy deep down. Kind of like when Jim McMahon wore his Bears jersey to the White House when he was the backup for Brett Farve after the Packers won the Super Bowl. How about hiring Lovie as our defensive coordinator?
Things are looking up for my Bears. It appears we finally have a quarterback, lots of money to spend, plenty of draft picks and a new stadium in the future. Now, if management can take advantage of these riches and not screw it up, the Bears should soon start owning the Packers.
I love baseball and I am excited about a new rule this year, the pitch clock. The use of the clock began in the minor leagues last year and cut game times by almost a half hour. It is being used in spring training this year with the same result. One of the problems with the game of baseball is how the games can go on forever. Pitchers walk around the mound rubbing the baseball and batters adjust every piece of protective equipment (if you know what I mean) between pitches. They used to take so much time, you were able to take a bathroom break between pitches and not miss any of the action. This is also great for White Sox and Cubs fans. It shortens the amount of time we have to suffer through their games this season. As you can tell, I do not have high hopes for either team.
As for basketball, I have given up on trying to figure out how a team gets into the playoffs. All I hear about is getting to play in games and nothing about secured playoff positions. As for the Bulls, there was cautious optimism at the beginning of the season, but that slipped away as the Lonzo Ball situation got worse as time went by. He has now had to have another knee surgery and no one knows when he will be back. The Bulls could make the playoffs and they might not. How am I supposed to cheer for a team to be the last team into the playoff picture? They will just be cannon fodder for the better teams, and it screws up the teams draft position.
As for the Chicago Blackhawks, they are terrible. They traded a legendary player in Patrick Kane and have not improved. They may be the worst team in hockey with a bleak outlook. Rocky Wirtz brought the Hawks back to prominence with three Stanley Cups, then seemed to take a 180 and become more like his dad and granddad, not trying. As Forrest Gump said, “That’s all I have to say about that.”
Finally, Aaron Rodgers. I would like to send my thoughts and prayers to Packer fans for what A-ron is doing to your team. His demands have crippled the once proud Pack. He is now in the process of holding two teams hostage as he demands to be traded to the Jets, then leaving the teams with how to work out the messy details of the trade. I heard a great idea. How about this? The Bears take all the cap space the team has built up, trade for Rodgers with a 5th or 6th round draft pick, (the Packers would probably jump at the offer to get rid of him) then put him on the bench behind Justin Fields. Who owns who A-ron?
That’s the sports report. Biff Riley signing off. Now, the weather. Damn, it’s raining again.
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