Memorial Day weekend is coming up and I’m breaking out every piece of white clothing I own and going to start wearing it on the holiday Monday. Get those sunglasses ready. I’ll be blinding.
Once I’m appropriately dressed for the official start of summer, it’s time to start making those summer travel plans. Admit it, we all have something in the works for a getaway from the daily grind we have to endure during our long winter’s nap. In my case, we have all different plans in the works. My wife is trying to make up for all the trips we couldn’t take during our forced Covid hibernation.
I’m now going to take a very controversial stand that will chill the souls of all vacation planners. The anticipation of the trip is more exciting than the actual trip. While every travel agent who reads this column couldn’t agree more, considering the fees they’re earning doing that planning, most folks will argue it’s the destination, not the journey.
Consider this. In the gray days of winter, your family is sitting around dreaming of escaping the reality of what is really going on outdoors. Rain, sleet, wind, snow, wind chill and all the painful weather that tortures us during our long, dark trip through space around the sun. Yes, there are a few who can escape to warmer climates, especially our hockey loving, Molsen drinking, overly friendly neighbors to the north who migrate down to our deserts and beaches to escape the much harsher winters they must live through. For the rest of us, we’re lucky to travel once a year, for a limited time period. It just happens to be at the same time that 75% of the population also heads out on vacation.
Back to travel planning. A summer vacation is rarely a spur of the moment decision. You have to be prepared to make reservations at your favorite campground, motor-home park, or resort months ahead of your trip. You might need to purchase those airline tickets, rent a car, or notify those distant aunt and uncles that you are dropping in for a stay without invitation. Why not, they live within a few hundred miles of some tourist trap you want to visit and you’ll just assume they’ll be glad to see you. Bring a few bottles of wine with you. It will make it easier for them to welcome you.
While you’re sitting at your desk, you and the rest of the family get all excited about that visit to Disneyland, Mt. Rushmore or Yellowstone National Park. You imagine everything going smoothly and all the sites you intend to jam into a 7 day vacation. The excitement builds to where the kids, and you, can’t sleep at night thinking about your big trip. Admit it, it’s happened to all of you.
Days before your journey you are wrapping up your plans. You have all the necessary paperwork with all the details of your vacation neatly printed out and sequentially placed in a folder for easy access, . You pack your bags with enough clothes to live away from home for a year, of which you’ll only use a fraction. You have a travel checklist that for some reason has items added everyday but those unknown. The added items will be in pencil, pen, sharpie and crayon. Apparently trip terrorists are trying to sabotage your intricate plans.
By this point, the day before you are scheduled to leave, the excitement for the vacation has built to a deafening crescendo and all involved have elevated heart beats. The following day, your actual vacation, is when reality sets in. You may have a flat tire on the family car. Your flight might have been changed from a non-stop to one that hops, for hours, between multiple cities before arriving at your destination. The luxury rental car you ordered is not available and you get stuck with a beater that smokes more than Humphrey Bogart and has such bad MPG, it has to stop at every gas station you see.
As you bravely continue on your journey you start to remember the needed items you left off your very efficient list but are still at home. The baby’s favorite binky, more than one pair of shorts, and the blood pressure medicine you need as your blood pressure spikes due to how well your vacation is already going.
You persevere in spite of everything that is going wrong, a whole 3 hours into your trip. You say to yourself, “It can’t get much worse,” meaning it will.
Be honest, it happens to all of us. You know if you plan a trip to Disneyland in water starved California, it will be the one day a summer thunderstorm, with driving rain, lightning and tornado warnings hits the Magic Kingdom. The next day, when you are gone, it will be another perfect California day, just not for you.
I’m sure fun will be had by all and life long memories will be made, just not like you planned. The hardest part is realizing your vacation is coming to an end and you have to be back at work on Monday. I know everyone of you has started counting how many days of vacation you have left on the day you leave for your trip.
When you start to pack, the clothes and items that had efficiently fit in a well packed suitcase when you left, will now not fit in ten suitcases, and you didn’t buy any souvenirs.
Your whole family is exhausted, disheveled and as you travel home, you are mistaken for a homeless family. A Good Samaritan offers to buy your family dinner at the local Denny’s, and you’re so tired, you accept.
Once you get home, all the luggage is tossed on the floor of the bedrooms and everyone drops in their bed in hopes of recovering from such a “good” time. When you awake, for some reason your memories have been altered by your nap and the family starts talking about the good time they had and start planning for next year. It’s the one thing that will get you through the upcoming, gray, cold winter. It is also when you realize the baby is nowhere in sight. This is when you say to yourself, “I’m sure I put her in the car after that bathroom stop in Barstow,” and decide that you need to improve your travel list.
©2023 BBRiley.net
bbriley.net 