A Knockout of a Celebrity

How many of you folks have had a celebrity sighting? It has happened to many of us. Every day I look into the mirror in the morning and have one. Hey, my cat thinks I’m pretty special. I live in an area where there seems to be more celebrities trying to live a normal life away from the spotlight…and I almost killed one. I was shopping one morning, after church, at a local grocery store. As I came around the corner I came close to running down the actor Sam Elliot. I was looking back at my wife asking a question and he had his nose in a shopping list when we just avoided what could have been a very unfortunate collision. Now that would have guaranteed my celebrity status. Headline: Local man runs down beloved western actor while pushing a shopping cart in a reckless manner. Prepare the tar and feathers.

We both avoided a painful meeting at the last second. I apologized for almost running him down. He responded in his very bass voice while patting me on the back, “No problem.” I mean low, like the bottom of the Grand Canyon low.

The first time I had a run in with a celebrity was when I first met my wife. We lived miles apart. My house was 70 miles east of L.A. and her home was just  north of the city. She set up our first meeting at a local coffee shop in her area. I got there early, because I get everywhere early. Trust me, it’s a curse. I was standing out front of the coffee shop looking for my future date, to come walking up when I noticed there was a handsome gentleman standing next to me, holding a couple of bags of groceries. Hey, celebs have to eat. I immediately recognized him as James Darren. He was in such movies as Gidget, The Gene Krupa Store and The Guns of Navarone and television shows like The Time Tunnel, T.J. Hooker and Star Trek Deep, Space Nine. To be sure, I was trying to quickly look up a picture of him on my phone. Snow white hair had replaced the thick black hair he had in his youth. I noticed my date (wife) walking up and in a fit of stupidity, instead of saying hello or complimenting her on how nice she looked, and she looked great, my first words to her were, “Does that look like James Darren?” 

I am still amazed that she didn’t just turn and run away screaming while waving her hands above her head. She did give me a very funny look. You know that look. The one that says “Do I need a restraining order?“

Fortunately for me, she decided to give me a second chance. Who do you know who needed a second chance after the first sentence you said to your date? I may have set a world record. That right there is celebrity worthy.

We did get along on our date and in a few years, got married. As a result we chose to live in her home, which was located on a beautiful lake, and rent my house, which was located closer to the desert than the ocean. Her house is also only a few miles from Hollywood, and as a result, we have celebrities that live in our area.

I have had many celebrity sightings but I leave them alone. The exception to that rule was when I met John Fogarty at the music store where I was taking guitar lessons. He was very nice and introduced himself to me and made a comment about my Notre Dame hat. His wife was from South Bend, IN. We talked for a few minutes and he couldn’t have been friendlier. He was with his daughter who was also taking lessons and went into the room with his daughter to observe that day’s lesson. Can you imagine the stress on the instructor when one of the greatest guitarists in rock history walked in to watch him teach guitar. No pressure there.

I think my first meeting with a celebrity passed me by without me even noticing. I went to a very large high school in the suburbs of Chicago. While going to the school, we had a grizzled, old guy working as our locker room attendant. He would sit outside the shower and toss us a towel after gym class. He would keep the locker room clean and wash all the linens that were in use.

During my illustrious football career (my sophomore year, then my dad made me get a job as soon as the season was over – end of my illustrious career) I had one of my fellow players introduce his forearm to my nose. I was a quarterback (stop giggling) and in the mid-sixties we wore a single bar face mask so as not to interfere with our sight. It also did not interfere with this guy’s forearm and the result was a very broken nose.  Since my face and the inside of my helmet were full of blood, the coaches sent me to the locker room to have Johnny, our locker room attendant, take care of it. He cleaned the blood off my face and got most of it out of my helmet then put a piece of adhesive tape across the bridge of my nose and sent me back to practice. If you had seen Johnny, you could see he knew a lot about broken noses. His was very flat and twisted. Everyone knew him as Johnny but didn’t pay much attention to him. Well, in high school, nobody paid much attention to me, except in football practice when the defense wanted to behead me. No worries, Johnny had his faithful adhesive tape and would have reconnected it in a flash.

Years after I graduated high school, my older brother told me that Johnny was a very famous athlete. He told me his full name was Johnny Paychek, and he was a world class boxer in the 1930s and 1940s. His biggest claim to fame was that he was a member of the famous “Bum of the Month Club” that fought legendary boxer Joe Louis. Explains his knowledge of broken noses.

The truth was that Johnny was not a bum of a boxer but an accomplished pugilist with a storied career. He had a record of 38 wines, 28 by knockout, 6 losses and 2 draws. He was ranked as a Top Ten heavyweight when he fought Louis. His problem was that he fought one of the greatest and most talented heavyweight fighters in history. His chances of beating the Brown Bomber were about the same as someone recognizing me while I’m out shopping. Slim to none.

I never knew that our Johnny from the high school locker room was an intricate part of history. I regret not knowing that at the time and giving this gentle man his due. He never sought publicity and seemed content to do his job. He passed away in 1988 at the age of 74. I am proud to tell folks that I knew the famous boxer Johnny Paychek, even though I didn’t really know Johnny at the time.

I have a favor to ask. Then next time you see me in public, how about making a big fuss? Maybe some folks will want to know who that celebrity was. I’ll have a pen and plenty of photos ready to offer autographs.

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