You’re probably wondering why it has been so long since my last column. The last one I posted was on December 29th. I have heard a lot of speculation on why I haven’t been posting, so I am going to address a few of these conspiracy theories.
The first one I heard is that I died. I categorically deny that. I’m pretty sure I’m still alive, even though my sons keep arguing to the contrary. Just because I don’t play video games doesn’t mean I’m dead.
Some folks blame the weather. That I was snowed in and lost power and Internet due to the unusually horrible weather we have been dealing with here in California. Even though I may have tried to use that excuse when the deadline on one of my paying articles was getting close, that had nothing to do with me not posting columns.
Then there’s that good old fashion “Writer’s Block.” Some people have accused me of writer’s block even when I was consistently posting columns. Now that’s a deep cut. Has nothing to do with not posting. I’ve had a million great ideas for columns, I just forget them by the time I reach my computer. I am old in case you didn’t know it. Not playing video games should have been your first clue.
The next one I heard was for tax purposes. This assumes that I actually make money writing all these gems of columns for you folks, (Sorry for the delay. It took me a while to stop laughing) Could not be further from the truth. Since I do not have an income from this exercise and it actually costs me money to maintain this site, all it is good for is a tax deduction for me being bad at business. Kinda like that ex-president who claimed he was a business genius. In fact, I have been busy writing “real” articles for a couple of publications that actually pay me money to do so. Sorry folks, the almighty buck comes before my faithful but delusional following…both of you.
The real reason for my not posting was simple, I got lazy. I would go to my computer, think about writing an article, then turn on the golf channel and get completely distracted. Hey, Tiger Woods was actually in a couple of these tournaments and how could I pass that up? Then there were the NFL playoffs, which needed quite a bit of my time. Never mind that my beloved Bears were nowhere to be seen when the playoff games started, I still like to watch a good football game. Maybe because it is usually accompanied by some chips and beer. Be honest, do you get anything done when chips and beer are involved?
So I apologize. Even though John Wayne said “Never apologize, it’s a sign of weakness,” I know I’m weak. Remember not being able to pass up chips and beers? I promise to do a better job and regularly post articles on my site.
So it’s time to start compiling some new subjects to write about, write them on post-it notes, (remember, I’m old), stick them all over the wall like I’m trying to figure out a murder mystery, and get ready to share my unending wisdom on everything. Ok, now it’s your turn to stop laughing.
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