I just got off the phone after catching up with some friends and family. The two guys I talked to are people I have known for years, so they’re about my age. One of my friends was bragging about his new hearing aids that can connect via Bluetooth to his phone. I’m pretty sure some folks were listening in on our conversation. It’s not perfect, though; it can be fuzzy at times, and I think it was trying to pick up a Golden Oldies radio station. I have a golf buddy who has hearing aids that do the same. When we are golfing, instead of telling him our scores, which he can never hear, we just phone him with the info. Quick, easy, and more accurate than letting him guess what we yelled.
My other friend is also dealing with the electronics used to track our health. He has to wear a heart monitor that sends information back to his cardiologist. Imagine how embarrassing it would be for him if he went to a strip club and his racing heart would give away his location? If a heart attack didn’t kill him, his wife would when she found out.
This past Friday I was playing in a golf tournament with my golf buddies, and most, again, are in a similar age range. What do you think we talked about the most? Golf, cars, women (usually our caretakers), or money? None of those; it’s our ailments and the medications we are taking. It’s like we are trying to outdo each other on how close we are to death. I think I’m winning…wait a minute…oh damn.
One side effect of our age and ailments is the multitude of pharmaceutical commercials we have to live with on TV, radio, or anything we stream. You know those subscription services you pay for to watch shows and movies uninterrupted? Yeah, the ones with commercials you were trying to avoid.
Pharmaceutical companies have figured out how to surgically target people our age to promote their newest medication that we need for whatever ailment has afflicted us older folks. The commercials are generally showing seniors enjoying life, smiling, riding bikes, walking along the ocean, and sharing happy times with their families. In some cases, they have the people in the commercial dancing and singing.
When the commercial is coming to an end, an announcer, talking at the speed of light, reads off a list of the side effects that you may or may not have while taking the drug, including death. Do you think all those people in the commercial would be dancing around if they knew their cure might kill them?
These commercials have a downside (besides being on at every break). In many commercials, they use an “actual patient” to push the medication they want you to talk to your doctor about. These people are dying. There was a commercial promoting a drug to treat people with COPD (emphysema). The commercial begins with a man being treated by paramedics while sitting on his couch, coughing and hacking, in a dark room. When the man stands up, he is in bright daylight, wearing a letterman’s jacket, smiling, and walking up to friends at a class reunion, as if nothing is wrong. It’s great that there might be a med to help relieve the suffering from the disease, but there is no cure. It is difficult to watch a patient whose days are numbered.
Not all people who take meds are dying. The ones we see the most of lately are medications designed to treat Type 2 Diabetes. The brand that comes to mind is Jardiance. Why does it stand out? Because they have commercials with large groups of well-choreographed people singing and dancing, celebrating the drug’s benefits and how much better life has become. Even though these drugs have great benefits, they still have side effects. My brother-in-law is taking such a drug. He can’t dance around due to some of the side effects, and is trying not to have his toes amputated. He still has 9 1/2 digits. So far so good.
These drugs have also become designer drugs for those that can afford them. People without diabetes are using the GLP-1 drug (as they are known) as a weight loss tool, and they do work. I know several people who are perfectly healthy and use the drug. They have lost weight, and they look great. I’m just waiting for them to break out in song and dance to celebrate their success. If they did, I think many of us would have them committed for unusual behavior.
Since I’m on a drug for my prostate cancer, why can’t I be featured in a commercial for my med? I’d be happy to promote all the benefits of the medicine that is “extending the quality of my life,” (their words, not mine). I would also be happy to dance around during breaks between my constant exhaustion and hot flashes. We could get some “takes” done in five minutes, right? I won’t sing because I can’t sing. The choir director we had in grade school told me I couldn’t sing, but if I wanted to be a part of the choir, I had to just stand in the back row, wear the outfit, and not make a sound. Wow, there went my self-esteem. Who would have thought my deficiency would come back to haunt me in my medication taking, old age. I bet those commercials pay quite a bit. Celebrities are making them.
As for the drug I’m taking, it seems to be doing its job. The cancer seems to be under control, and I spend much of my time reading about side effects from the medication. Quite a story, but not great bedtime reading. I find a new side effect each time. Good to know that I might morph into a giant furry creature.
Have to dash. I have a dancing and singing lesson lined up. There’s a lot of money in those med commercials, and I want to get a share of it. My list of medications is growing, so my chances of landing one of those commercials are getting better, and I hope to land one before I’m dead.
©2026BBRiley.
