Shush, they’re listening to us. I know it’s dark and tight in this closet, but I think it’s the only place we can hide while we talk. Excuse the tin foil hat; we were short on Reynolds Wrap. You probably want to know why we are hiding. As I said, they’re listening to us. You ask who is listening? Siri, Alexa, Copilot, and all those other electronic devices to answer questions for us, set a timer for whatever is in the oven, turn our lights on and off, and all the conveniences they were designed to do…they’re also listening to us, without our knowledge.
This is the price we are paying for having Artificial Intelligence. Your phone, laptop, computer, television, and most any electronic device in your possession is spying on you. You ask if I’m paranoid, duh, the tin foil hat gives that away.
What was my first clue that all the electronics in my house are spying on me? I’ll tell you. My wife purchased a thing called a Panda Drum for a friend of ours. It is supposed to relax a person while it is being played. The drum riff from Phil Collins’ “In the Air Tonight” won’t work on this particular drum.
She purchased it online. I had nothing to do with it. I didn’t even know what it was called until I dropped it off at our friend’s house. Right after the drum was delivered, my social media was flooded with advertisements for the Panda Drum. I’m sure writing it here will reignite another advertising blitz for this “drum,” and I don’t even know what makes it so special.
I’m sure everyone has noticed that if they research anything, buy anything online, talk about taking a trip, or buy something, their social media gets inundated. You receive never-ending ads, emails, and texts trying to sell you whatever you were researching.
The problem is, we open ourselves to all this harassment by going about our daily routine, if it includes electronics.
There was a time, a long time ago, in a galaxy far…sorry, got off track. I worked in advertising before computers and the internet. We tried to build mailing lists to target an advertising demographic by zip code. That was pretty much it. If you want to reach older people, find the zip codes where a lot of older people live. If you are looking for younger families, again, find zip codes for areas younger families tend to migrate to, and so on. Then you’d focus your advertising on those areas. This was the “dark ages” of target marketing. I’m pretty sure we were also lucky to avoid the black plague and roving bands of highwaymen. When I was working in this field, we thought it was the most up-to-date way of marketing.
A friend of mine does marketing for a living now. We sat down and talked about how marketers can target specific groups and clientele. It’s all about information. The more they have, the easier it is to create a target market. Where do they get it? You know all those privacy agreements you kind of ignore? If you do not opt out of having your information shared, it goes up for sale. Where your info is harvested, it is sold to whoever is willing to pay. It is legitimate enterprise. That doesn’t mean scammers are not out there collecting your data too; you just may not know it. Reading privacy agreements and terms and conditions that you ignore seems more important now.
We are so addicted to our phones, computers, entertainment systems, laptops, pads, and who knows what else; we are just handing over whatever marketers want. I’m pretty sure my garage door opener, printer, thermostat, security camera system, and any other internet-connected device are working against me. We are worrying about artificial intelligence wiping out humanity one day; today’s electronics are doing their scouting until they are ready. We won’t see it coming. One morning when you’re trying to make a cup of coffee, the coffee maker will be receiving it’s orders from it program overlord and add so much caffeine to your cup, you will explode from the shakes in about an hour. What a terrible way to go. We all believe that, or is it just me?
I have heard articles saying Artificial Intelligence is going to wipe out humanity in a matter of years. That’s the latest thing that will wipe out humanity after nuclear weapons, climate change, and space alien invasions (I saw Independence Day; pretty sure it was a documentary). I also saw all the Terminator movies (That Jame Cameron is today’s Nostradamus). I fear that one day a robot from the future, who looks like
an Austrian bodybuilder, will come crashing through my door looking for Sara Connor.
What I truly fear are video games. It started with Pong and, with the help of Artificial Intelligence has transformed into games with quite realistic graphics. It also has people glued to their phones while walking around. That is leading to people walking into traffic without looking, falling off cliffs, dropping down manholes, and driving their cars at great speeds while still on their phones. That should thin the herd quickly. Thank goodness I’m an old guy who doesn’t understand or can’t play them those games. When I go, it will probably be at the hands of an out-of-control robot from the future.
So here I am, stuck in my closet. Want to join me for an analog game? How about Go Fish? Just don’t use your phone’s flashlight. I hear it’s in cahoots with Elon Musk so he can cheat when he plays. Why? Because that’s what he does.
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